But there are still those who take the tying of the knot seriously. In a marriage ceremony you would likely hear me say something like this…
“If we know that God is for marriage, we must know that Satan is against it. God is the provider, sustainer and protector of proper relationships. If God is for something, it is only right for us to support it too. [Groom], I charge you to always be the husband God has called you to be. You should submit to Christ in every area of life and lovingly lead your wife into a Godly lifestyle. [Bride], I charge you to be a wife who is surrendered to God and submitted to your husband, helping him to become all God wants him to be. I charge you both to be the Godly parents the Holy Spirit enables you to be, so that your children will come to know Christ early and follow Him all of their days.
[Groom], if you fail to love your wife as you should, God will not hear your prayers.
[Bride], if you do not submit to your husband, you will be open for attack by the enemy.
If either of you quits on this marriage, God will hold you accountable for the promises you make on this day. And there will be serious consequences for breaking that trust. But if you will intentionally keep Christ at the center of this relationship, though storms will come, God has promised to be with you and draw you closer to each other and to Himself. He is in this marriage as He is in you.
To those who are here to witness this great event, you also have a responsibility. You are to support this family, not just in word, but in action. You should not do anything to drive a wedge between this couple. If you stand against or try to destroy this marriage, you are standing against God and have made Him your enemy. [Groom and Bride] will need your prayers, not your drama. They will need your love, not your judgment. They need stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Be a blessing to them. Help them make this the best life it can be.”
That isn’t your fluffy, “We are gathered here today to witness the bond of this man and this woman…” Because marriage isn’t fluffy. Marriage is serious business. It is a battle. Marriages don’t succeed because two people said, “I do,” but because they continue to say, “We are this.” They succeed because their community says, “We are for this.”
In this ‘divorce-happy culture, it is important to get the word out that anyone who has a hand in dividing a married couple is guilty before God. Ladies, if your girlfriends tell you that you can do better for yourself than the man you have as your husband, you don’t have a girlfriend… you have a girl enemy. You should distance yourself from her influence… and probably cut ties completely. To get into a divisive position between a husband and wife is to get between God and a couple. Dangerous ground. What about the men? Yes… it is true for men as well… but let’s be honest… most guys aren’t divisive in this way. If a man is dividing a couple in any way, he is also making himself to be the enemy of both parties, and God Himself. Remember, if someone is trying to tell you that you ‘deserve better’, they are probably jealous that you have someone… and it is very likely that they have tried to do better themselves… often times without success. Do not listen to people who are trying to tear your family apart.
Husband and wife, do not listen to people who are trying to ‘deliver you’ from someone you don’t get along with. Friend of the groom or bride, do not be a person that digs away at the foundation of someone else’s marriage.
Jesus was on the same page. “From the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)
Today be a relationship builder… not a relationship destroyer. You aren’t just dealing with two people. You are dealing with one couple and God Himself.
[Bible quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, unless otherwise noted.]
Find more of David’s work at Heart Of Ministry.