I remember sitting in my favorite Mexican spot a few years ago during lunch. A table full of young professional women at the next table were enjoying themselves. They were talking about life and entertainment. The subject turned to television shows. As they got up to leave, one of the women said, "I just love Charlie Sheen on 'Two and a Half Men'. He is such a womanizer." I remember thinking, "I didn't just hear that... and certainly not from a woman." But I had just heard that. What in the world? Why would a seemingly educated and successful woman say such a thing? Is that what she likes in men? Is that what she expects from her boss or co-workers? Is that what she is looking for in a husband? She laughed, and the other women laughed with her and agreed. Last week, Charlie Sheen came out with a sobering announcement. He is HIV positive. He has been for a while. He has been while having sex with multiple women. This isn't the TV show character. This is the real guy. It isn't really a shock for most people. Sheen has a party guy reputation. It wouldn't surprise many if life imitated art in his case... or if art was imitating life. Regardless, he was a drinker on the show with serious relationship issues, and a promiscuous lifestyle. That was true for him off-screen as well. People laughed their heads off as he played the character on the hit show. But as his real life spins out of control, people are not laughing. They think it is a problem. What is a problem is that we celebrate such lifestyles on screen and randomly celebrate and judge them in the real world. Seriously, is it funny when men objectify women and treat them as their toys, or is it gross? We can't seem to make up our mind. But then when we find out an actor who won awards for being a womanizer is sleeping around with a sexually transmitted disease, we shift into Christian mode and talk about how wrong it is... even though we thought it was hilarious on TV. Here is how the public viewed Charlie's life on Two and a Half Men... 2002 Nominated Kids Choice Award Favorite TV Actor 2005 Nominated SAG Award Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series 2005 Nominated Golden Globe Award for Best Actor - TV Series Musical or Comedy 2006 Won Golden Icon Award Best Actor - Comedy Series 2006 Nominated Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor - Comedy Series 2006 Nominated Golden Globe Award for Best Actor - TV Series Musical or Comedy 2007 Nominated People's Choice Award Favorite Male TV Star 2007 Nominated Teen Choice Award Choice TV Actor: Comedy 2007 Nominated Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Character - Comedy Series 2008 Nominated People's Choice Award Favorite Male TV Star 2008 Nominated Teen Choice Awards Choice TV Actor: Comedy 2008 Nominated Outstanding Lead Actor - Comedy Series 2008 Won ALMA Award Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Television Series 2010 Nominated SAG Award Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series Now, I'm not trying to pile on a guy after he finds out he has a horrible virus. If Sheen contacted me tomorrow and wanted to talk about spiritual reality, I would be glad to compassionately offer him hope. But look at that list of award nominations and wins. His womanizing, drinking, foul portrayal was praised by kids, teens, and people in general. He was one of America's favorite male TV stars. That is as telling as it is disturbing. Women claim they are having a more difficult time finding the right man today, but many love a guy who is a womanizer. What in the world? Well, the Bible actually talks about such things... a lot. One of the things we find in Scripture is the expectation of how men should act. The apostle Paul wrote this to the pastor Titus... "Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. Encourage the young men to be self-controlled in everything." (Titus 2:2,6) Now... that kind of lifestyle will not win you entertainment awards. It won't keep you on the cover of magazines as one of the sexiest men alive. It won't make you the heartthrob of fajita eating business-women everywhere. But it will put you in good standing with God. It will lead you into spiritual success. It will set you up for healthy relationships and the woman God has for you. It will likely keep you from falling into a life of substance abuse and sexually transmitted diseases. I have prayed for Charlie Sheen today. He needs Jesus... in every area of his life. I know God has put people in his path to show him the right way. Sheen is no worse of a condition than many people. He is just famously lost. Here is a suggestion for the men reading this today... Be men... real men. Be level headed. Be worthy of respect. Be sensible. Be sound in faith. Be sound in love. Be sound in endurance. Be self-controlled in everything. Women... value these things in men. Celebrate them. Do not go after the 'bad boy' image. It is not the path that leads to healthy relationships or healthy men. [Bible quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, unless otherwise noted.] Find more of David’s work at Heart Of Ministry. We were created to work and be productive. God designed us that way. He is creative, so He put that part of His nature in us. In fact, that is such a strong part of who we are that He gave us the opportunity, and even the command to rest one day a week. Yet, even though it is literally in our DNA to produce, in a world broken by sin, there is a spirit of laziness that attacks us. It is more successful in some of us than others. It ruins men and families... and entire cultures. In the book of Proverbs (wise sayings) we find this warning... I went by the field of a slacker and by the vineyard of a man lacking sense. Thistles had come up everywhere, weeds covered the ground, and the stone wall was ruined. I saw, and took it to heart; I looked, and received instruction: a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest, and your poverty will come like a robber, your need, like a bandit. (Proverbs 24:30-34) It is one thing to be patient, or a plodder. It is another thing to be a slacker. Scripture instructs us to not be anxious. We are not to wear out our souls trying to do what only God can do in our life. We aren't to try and create miracles. The Bible frowns on those who put too much confidence in their own ability to take care of themselves. But it never praises laziness. Being a slacker is being a poor steward of the things God entrusts to us. It is disrespectful to God to not take care of our business when we have the ability to do so. It is even disobedience. Unfortunately, laziness is a serious issue today. Too many people would rather not work and let someone else take care of them. The apostle Paul gives this scorching statement about slackers... "If anyone does not provide for his own, that is his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8) In our efforts to be compassionate, we must be careful to not mask or remove the natural consequences of laziness. Sometimes when we want to help someone who has lost everything, we are actually helping them not face their problem, which may not be the loss, but the laziness that led to the loss. Today, do not be a slacker. Go after success the proper way. Look for opportunities. Work hard. Sacrifice. Trust God with the increase. And watch God bless your efforts as His faithfulness meets your faithfulness. [Bible quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, unless otherwise noted.] Find more of David’s work at Heart Of Ministry. Yep... if you have a family, and you aren't taking care of them... you are worse than a person who doesn't believe in God. So, not only does being a slacker rob you of your material wealth as we see in Proverbs, but it also robs you of your spiritual standing before God and man. While no human parent has ever been perfect, there are a relative few who have been wrong on everything. Sure, there are parents who are of no account, but they generally are not the bumbling idiots we see them to be on modern television shows. God gives children to parents because there is wisdom in the experience of adults, and there is a natural passing along of that wisdom in the parent-child relationship. Again... there are exceptions... but that is the general rule. The book of Proverbs in the Bible is a collection of wise saying, some short, others like an extended story. They are meant to make us think about life and choices. Many of these proverbs reference the instruction and place of parents. In fact, many of the proverbs are written as from a father to a child. One section tells us... Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old. Buy—and do not sell—truth, wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly, and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him. Let your father and mother have joy, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice. (Proverbs 23:22-25) Parents have been devalued in our culture. At every turn there are people and created institutions that have tried to replace parents as the primary fountain of knowledge and wisdom in a child's life. From entertainment to public schooling, we have been convinced that parents are simply people who take care of the child while society forms them. This discounting of parenting was never God's intent. A parent is more important to the growth and life of a child than a teacher, a doctor, a preacher, a rap artist, a policeman, or a social worker. God gave children to parents... not to daycare workers. I remember about 35 years ago as VCRs were becoming the big thing, people would joke about not being able to set the clock, so it would flash "12:00" all the time. So the child would "have to set the clock" for the adults. This adaptation curve in technology continued with computers and cell phones. It is kind of a running joke in our culture. But it isn't funny. Because this technology/understanding gap reinforces the idea that parents are slow. While it isn't explicitly said, the underlying belief is often... If you aren't bright enough to send a text message, you probably shouldn't be advising me on what is right and wrong, or what I should do with my life. This is not helpful. The enemy uses such ideas to widen the gap in generations and the family unit. The wise writer says that we should "buy and not sell" truth, wisdom, instruction, and understanding. During the upcoming season a lot of people will buy many things that won't last until the next holiday. They will spend their money on things that they are told they must have, but will be obsolete within a year. Sometimes they will sell something valuable in order to get the fleeting. One of the great tragedies of our day is that we sell grandma's gold necklace at a "We Buy Gold" shop so we can have money to eat out at Cracker Barrel. Along the way, VCRs, computers, and cellphones go onto the trash heap of civilization. But family goes on. And the words of the wise man continue to be true. They are true in my life... My children have given their mother an myself joy as they live lives of wisdom and truth. I would like to think my life honors my parents and makes them rejoice, though I know that there have been times it did not. You cannot go back. You cannot make your parents wiser. You can't make them great. But you can make them glad. You can honor the value of parenting in your life. [Bible quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, unless otherwise noted.] Find more of David’s work at Heart Of Ministry. It is Sunday once again. A few Sundays ago I was on my way to church with my wife. Her choir practice is on Sunday morning. We were late, but wanted to be there on time. Because we cannot stop the clock, I was speeding. Yep. I was going faster than I should have. There is a stretch of road right before our church that is well-patrolled by the police. You can probably see where this is heading. I was driving in a 40 mph zone, and I was going... faster than 40. Apparently the officer had been after me for a while when I pulled onto the actual street where our church is. I finally see his lights and pull over. He probably didn't anticipate a Sunday morning chase. I didn't expect to be chased for a couple of miles. Anyway, there we were... the officer asking me if I knew why he stopped me. Me suggesting it was because I had broken a law. Him confirming my suspicions and giving me raw data. He went back to his car as fellow church members drove by me... now definitely late for choir practice. Becky is taking pictures in her mirror and texting her friends. The officer comes back, hands me my license, and I say, "In my defense, my wife was running late this morning and I was trying to get her to choir practice on time." Yes... I played the Jesus card while throwing my chuckling wife under the patrol car. He gave a knowing laugh and said, "Just watch your speed from now on." No ticket that day. We just went on to church. But on the other side of the world, there were Christians who were breaking the law, not by speeding, but simply by worshiping God at their church. The law enforcement officers showed up and dispersed the gathering, taking some of the leaders to jail. Families were broken up. And not for breaking a good law, but for obeying God. My story is somewhat humorous, until you think of the deeper truth. The government exists to punish evil doers and protect the innocent. I was stopped by a policeman doing his job. Our persecuted brothers and sisters are being stopped by people overstepping their authority. The apostle Peter put it this way... Submit to every human authority because of the Lord, whether to the Emperor as the supreme authority or to governors as those sent out by him to punish those who do what is evil and to praise those who do what is good. For it is God’s will that you silence the ignorance of foolish people by doing good. As God’s slaves, live as free people, but don’t use your freedom as a way to conceal evil. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God.Honor the Emperor. Household slaves, submit with all fear to your masters, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel. For it brings favor if, mindful of God’s will, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if you sin and are punished, and you endure it? But when you do what is good and suffer, if you endure it, this brings favor with God. (1 Peter 2:13-20) My Sunday morning should have been interrupted. Theirs should not be. But God help us if we are more bent out of shape for being stopped when we are wrong than are those who are stopped without doing wrong? That morning, I thought that I may be receiving a well-deserved speeding ticket, but hoped he would let me ride. He let me ride. I remember driving away thinking about how much different it is for my brothers and sisters in communist countries to see the police roll up on a Sunday morning. May I never forget, and may I live a life that keeps me from suffering for doing wrong, and keeps me in a situation where I suffer for doing right. Today, don't speed to church. But get there. Because it is a blessing to freely go, and you never know when that freedom will be gone. [Bible quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, unless otherwise noted.] Find more of David’s work at Heart Of Ministry. |
AuthorMy name is David, and I want to know God more, and help other people find Him. Archives
March 2019
Categories |